Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize