Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
is that a dick in a sweater?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
