she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
