is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
