He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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