Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize