paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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