Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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