Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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