Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Randomize
