he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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