I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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