we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize