So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize