At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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