I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
