4 words: hood of his car
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
