her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize