why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
