so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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