Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
wanna go halves on a baby?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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