yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
