I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize