I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Randomize