protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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