i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
