I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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