The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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