If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
