Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
