It's Friday. Sex?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
