What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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