There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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