Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
This is my gift to your gina
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
