If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
