I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
