I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
