Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
