If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
