Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
