Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We were destined to go to rehab together
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Never underestimate the power of titties
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
