He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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