You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
