She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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