I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
