Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize