Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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