I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Rumble strips road head = magical
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
