So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The adults are the big ones right?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
