Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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