Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you win again, gameday.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
