Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
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