I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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