I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
