can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So here I am, sexting at work.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
