That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize