I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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