just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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