Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
