90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
