She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
please come you make the beer taste better
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize