My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
