I bet he comes in French.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Two words: blizzard sex
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
